You know that Paul Simon song "50 ways to leave your lover", well, in the span of 24 hours Drew and I have rewritten that song to . . . . "50 ways to maim your baby!"
This morning when Ellie was woke up Drew was surprised by the fact that she was all wet. She never leaks through her diaper. Upon changing her he realized he forgot to put on a diaper last night. So our poor little girl slept all night diaperless and in a soaking wet sleeper!
#1: Neglect . . . check!
Then this morning, as I was making my breakfast, I was surprised by how quiet Ellie was playing in the living room. That should have been a big red flag because as I went over to her I realized she had got a hold of her liquid vitamin D supplement and was drinking it. Ahhh, I called poison control immediately with my heart pounding. Luckily, they said it's impossible to acutely overdose on vitamin D because it is water soluble.
#2: Attempted poisoning . . . check!
So after a strange morning Drew and I decided to meet for lunch at my favorite new hangout, The Tot Spot Cafe in Woodinville. It's a cute cafe with a huge playarea for kids. Ellie was standing in the big firetruck play toy when another little girl decided she was finished sharing and proceeded to push Ellie out. Ellie landed hard on her head. Her first big fall.
#3: Battery . . . check!
The scary thing is . . . it's only 2pm. So like I said we are well on our way to completing the lyrics to the new song . . . "50 ways to maim your baby!"
4 comments:
This is the funniest d*mn post ever! I know it might not be funny to you right now, but don't worry - ALL parents go through things like this... maybe not all in one day... but hey, consider yourselves "special"! Ha ha.
kiss Ellie's bonked head for me!
gramma
Oh my, It is only going to get worse.
I can't wait for the post where the two of you point to each other and say
" I thought you were watching her!"
I'm dying with laughter! I'll never forget when Eric and I weren't paying attention and we hear "Yum" and look up to see Alister chowing down on our toothpaste, which says all over it, "call poison control" if eaten. Got to love those poison control folks!
Post a Comment